Return of the Neuroticflyfisherman

Just enough trout for one day! It seems the quest is always, one more fish, one more cast, one more pool. One more. It’s what keeps us coming back again and again. It’s what propels us further into the forest and along the River’s path. The fly fisherman keeps on keeping on and it’s all fueled by passion.

Passion slowly feeds us as we taste of the scenery driving up into the Sierra and wind along roads that carry us to our favorite haunts. Passion is the scent of pine, the thunder of white water crashing against granite boulders, and the sunlight streaming though the forest floor lighting the way.

This same passion is what drives me closer to my Creator. His passion and His Creation reveal my heart and desire to know Him more. Passion becomes fruitful when realized. When noticed. When absorbed. Passion is revealed more than discovered. And it is revealed because we are trying to discover it. If you draw close to God, He will draw close to you. It’s as if God put this passion in me for fly fishing just as an avenue to know Him more!

Have you found your passion? Have you known it’s source? When you find your true passion, you find your passion has in fact found you! And the fountain of that passion is more fantastic than any one thing you can imagine! My passion is you….Jesus.

PM

My son Jason and I had an amazing weekend fly fishing(Me) and spin casting(Jason) up on the Tuolumne River just outside Yosemite National Park. We camped at Diamond O near camp Mather for a couple nights and fished several different places with pretty good results. The most excitement came last night when a mother bear and her cubs invaded some campers who left food out. People really need to listen the to camp host when they warn of bears! They wouldn’t have so many delinquent bears around! We brought Honey and she enjoyed just being with us by the river and watching us fish. We ate really hardy camping meals and splurged one night out at Evergreen Lodge with a burger. At night we had a fire and roasted marshmallow’s for s mores. Jesus has been so good to us! I’m  very stoked how Jason is becoming a strong man of God and living out his faith with perseverance and patience. Overall, a wonderful weekend campng and fishing  with Jason!

Taken on my way home today as I was coming into Bridgeport. Great Fly Fishing out here if you ever get a chance to get this far! Tight Lines!

PM

Inside every human being there is the need to be significant. We build monuments, and museums to remind us of our grand accomplishments. On more ordinary practices we blog and post on facebook to let ourselves be known. The bigger achievement the bigger the hope we have that we made an impact on this planet. Our view of success almost always revolves around the things we’ve done while living here on earth’s soil.

I’m finding that following Christ is quite opposite of that path. The way to recognize significance is both outside of me yet inside of me. What a strange complex paradox! Christ in me, the Apostle Paul said is the hope of glory! We share in God’s Glory! Wow! But the way to get there is to become the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus even said that He didn’t come to be served but to serve and give His life away.

Up here on the top of the mountain where I shot this photograph is where I become small sometimes. I get a feeling when I’m all alone in this wilderness that I am like this small pine tree in a host of enormous forest specimens trailing off into the long canyon below. It is here that God speaks to me and tells me yes Paul you are small. But I AM..Big! Beyond your imagination! And I love you Paul! That makes me feel both very small, yet incredibly loved! The Maker of all Creation loves me?  This is where I feel significant. So I keep trying to get small these days.

On a funny note Steve Martins was quoted in an SNL skit saying, “My goal: right now, I want to be the all-being master of time, space and dimension. Then, I want to go to Europe – I think.” Ha! Very funny, but really in a sense very true! We all want to become something larger than ourselves, to think there is more. Well, there is more to becoming great…and it comes through humility and worship of Our great Lord Almighty Jesus Christ!

Come let’s get small together!

PM

Here beside the cool refreshing River surveying it’s contents like a small sparrow pecking at crumbs between the surface reflection and moving shadows below my heart is yearning for more. More life pulling my floating line out of my reel and more life filling this need to be part of something much bigger than myself.

When Neil Armstrong walked upon the moon he put his thumb up in front of his face and was able to block out the earth from his sight. The people asked him if he felt big. His response was that he felt very small.

Clamoring over large granite boulders between deep canyon walls beside a powerful River I feel small. This space was created for me to recognize my inability to conquer and yet engage. The River is meant to make me bigger than myself as it fills that need within. And so I revisit him time and time again to be refreshed and allow the soothing power strip away the varnish of my little stained self perception.

Early this morning I have come to the River with two ideas I want to suggest to Him. I am here, willing and wanting. I am broken, needing and waiting.

The River has give me options today that will always remain constant for the River cannot deny itself. He has given me the choice between letting me be a leaf upon it’s surface  while guiding me into the secret places. In this area He navigates me into strong current at times, placing me stuck in foam along the banks at times, and rides with me into the white water and over mighty falls at other times.

The other option is a much safer trip, because it means I trust my own ability. My experience is an illusion of safety. I know rocks I have trusted to support under my weight failing me which caused deep abrasions along my knees when they crumbled as I once gingerly trusted them. I have had smooth moss covered banks make me lose balance and plunge over my head catching me by surprise. And I have had snakes rise from under hollow logs causing me to reel backwards in an instant.

I can trust the River, and He knows me by name. This is my experience. This is my goal again this morning. To trust Him more…take my life River and move me where you want…I’m yours!

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow Rivers of living water.”

Jesus Christ~ John 7:38

I’ll see you at the River perhaps?

PM

towards hope…

Sitting in the middle of adversity between hope and loss, between the future and the past, between the loss and promise. That’s where she resides and contemplates and waits.

I heard a man say that God inhabits the praises of Israel. He quoted that from the Bible. Then went on to say that Israel represents God’s people and if you call yourself a follower of Jesus than you can assume this holds true for you also. And if you wanted to experience God’s presence you could do so by sincere and honest worship.

So in this game of waiting I have chosen to focus my attention on Him, instead of my desires through worship. And I have asked myself what is worship that God accepts. And He gave me this Word…

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-This is your spiritual act of worship.” Romans 12:1

I’m amazed at how much I personally get out of worshipping God. I think I get this concept in reverse so much of the time. I don’t worship to get, I worship to give. The fact He gives me anything in return is only because I’m drawing close to Him and can’t help but feel His presence.

He is the One who holds all of life together, created the universe, is the source of all power, all knowledge, all love and light. And I’m a very little speck on this planet. My life is insignificant in the whole scheme of things.

Yet, when I get my attention off of myself and really begin to focus all my attention and praise to God, He in return fills me with peace, and inexpressible joy! It is in these moments that I realize that this is what we are created to do. Now. And for the rest of eternity. And I also realize why adversity affects me negatively so many times. It is simply because I haven’t been doing the very thing He created me to do! Get my focus off of me and onto Him!

And so in this place between the future and my past, I’m finding real strength. Not in myself. In Him. He is the strength of my life… He always has been. He spoke to me years ago for the very first time through these words…“The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

He has not changed all these years. He remains faithful, solid, strong. And one day He will return. And I will be found worshipping Him this I know. For He is worthy of all praise, all attention, and of all my little life has to offer! I must become less and He must increase. This is His will for me..and anyone else who wants everlasting hope. True. I thank God for having patience with me, directing my life, providing for me, loving me and simply knowing me.

So if you want to experience God…you do so by sincere and honest worship!

PM

He sat on a flat piece of granite high above the river and rested briefly looking down into the canyon. The fly fisherman was all alone in a deep canyon along the Tuolumne river. A favorite haunt of his. As the sweat poured off his brow mixing with salt from his pours, his eyes stung and he wiped the whole mess of with a clean swipe of the forearm. Drinking some water the fly fisherman’s thoughts began to revolve around a pattern in his life like carefully going back to a dog-eared chapter of a familiar worn out book.

“Here I am again Lord”, his thoughts spilled forth. “What is it you are going to teach me today? Where will I be tomorrow? And how am I going to survive now?”

This has been the routine of late for this angler. Pouring out his concerns between casts and climbing steep canyons. Sometimes connecting with his Maker, sometimes not listening to His voice. His relationship has been off and on again as he sensed Jesus farther than the planets and closer than the air in his lungs. This time the Lord spoke clearly though, and more surprisingly, he heard!

“I’m here. I have never left you. Your friendship with me was established long ago before time began. It’s not based on how you perceive me to be. And regardless of if you sense me, my hand is holding you, keeping you suspended, just as you are here..high above the river..so I am with you. When you don’t feel me near and become frantic or desperately lonely it is only because I have chosen not to show myself. I know this is hard for you, but I am doing something in you that is larger than what you think you need. I’m building trust in you. And faith. And I’m making you stronger in your heart for the long journey ahead. Remember these words..place them deep in your soul… and I will remind of my ever constant presence when you need me most. I have proven myself faithful even to the point of death, and that death on the cross, I did joyfully, because I had just you in my thoughts! Now trust me, and go catch a fish!”

As the fly fisherman sprung off the rocks a ray of sunshine hit the glowing spray of white water below and produced a small bright rainbow. The promise he thought, it is always a promise, and God keeps His promises! Then down into the river banks, and over boulders, fallen logs, and red dirt to the water he went. Fly fishing… and remembering, “Jesus really does love me!”

PM

Ken’s Sporting Goods store in Bridgeport. Passed through the other day while fly fishing the West Walker, East Carson and trippin’ through Yosemite back country. This is a cool spot to visit! Ken’s has a cooler out front where passer by’s can view recent large catches on display.

PM